8 Things I Do ~ Read Real Books & Listen to Podcasts (Part 1)

Two things I try to everyday are read real books and listen to podcats.

I say real books because I like the ones made from paper with ink on them that I can hold, I don't like the whole kindle or nook thing.

I've listened to some audible books and they are ok, but I space out a lot, so it's tougher to get what I want from them versus a real book.

Right now I don't even read "books" as in the plural. There was a buddhist monk who expressed the opinon Americans read too many books, we never learn anything from one book and go read another one, thus are fairly fucking confused. He didn't say fucking, I added that for effect.

So I was told to read nothing for a while when I first started meditating, that way I wasn't adding any new bullshit into my messed up head. Then I was instructed I could read one book, over and over, and that finally I would at least understand one book. The other insight was each time I read that book, I'm different so i get something different from it.

The one book I'm currently reading over and over is Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh

Stay tuned for Part 2 where I'll give a list of all the podcasts I'm listening too!

If you have a favorite book I'd love to know what it is. I read and answer all email ~ douglashilbert@yahoo.com

For previous Letters to My Son blogs go to doughilbert.blogspot.com

8 Things I Do ~ Write Creatively

I will likely reread and edit this blog post 5 times at a minimum and hesitate to hit publish for 5-10 minutes before doing it. How am I ever going to write the book I've been wanting to write since 2008???

Well, "practice makes permanent", so I am just going to keep writing and eventually I may stop worrying about the audience and being perfect. Writing is therapy for me, it is about overcoming fear and rejection.

8 lessons I have learned from James Altucher when I write: 

1. Bleed in the First Line - Being vulnerable, open, honest and writing something I don't feel 100% comfortable saying. I've never connected with a perfect person, so the less perfect I pretend to be hopefully the better the reader or audience can connect to me, which is what I want, connection.

2. Be Honest - Only through honesty is there value. There are a million other writers telling everyone how great everything is and how to be perfect if you do 72 things they say. I connect with James b/c he bared all his shit for the world and I can understand him and relate to him, without even knowing him personally.

3. Don't Be Afraid of What People Think - This is the hardest for me. I'm constantly self-judging what an imagined audience is thinking about what I write. The general public, friends and family are rarely judgmental so I'm just making it all up in my head. Every time I write I lessen this fake judgment and it becomes easier.

4. Steal - I'm copying these tips from James blog and simply saying how I use them... And I will make a entire blog post out of it. Here is a link to his article to give him some props: http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/03/33-unusual-tips-to-being-a-better-writer/

5. Risk - Write something that has some risk in it. Personal risk, reputation risk, relationship risk (not in a manner which will hurt people) but something which puts me out there bare for the public. My writing needs to push my boundaries so I can grow and become better. Risk also attracts readers and keeps them engaged. I will read risk, I will not read 10 tips to be perfect from a fake perfect author.

6. Write Every Day - It's in my list of 8 Things I Do everyday. I might only write the title or a few sentences and sometimes I delete it all or save it for much later. I write something every day simply to get the shit out of my head. It gets me off my problems and to do list, like a brain vacation. It also hits some fears, issues and personal barriers I need to work through. James has a 2 day rule, he says if you don't write for 2 days you go back to being a shitty writer. I would agree from my experience so far. It's like going to the gym, it's hard to restart from a break.

7. Write with the Same Voice I Talk In - My Grandmother was an English teacher so I can write a damn good term paper, research paper and analytical article. This is not the time to write like that though. In real life I say shit and fuck, a lot, so writing like I talk has been more challenging that I thought, but I think I'm doing a better job.

8.  Be Very Afraid - James says 'Don't hit publish unless I am afraid of what people will think of me.' That one I don't have to work on b/c it's a voice which is always in my head. Maybe one day it will go away, but that day will likely be when I am dead. Until then, being afraid of publishing is a great signal I have written something open, honest and hopefully useful to the reader.

Like working out and meditating, my writing is more for myself than you, sorry. I'd love to see everyone write and get some of the benefits I have. I am not making money or really even getting a lot of hits or feedback, but I am learning about myself and improving every time I take the action and hit publish.

I'd love to hear your experiences with writing. I read and answer all emails ~ douglashilbert@yahoo.com

For past "Letters to My Son" blogs go to ~ doughilbert.blogspot.com

8 Things I Do ~ Meditate

So the Time meditation photo cover is from 2003... Yeah, almost 12 years ago... So why are people still not meditating???

It's hard.

I do not meditate every day. It is my goal or intention to meditate every day and I fail to meet that goal or intention from time to time. The laundry list of excuses why I do not meditate is endless, literally. I could use anything for an excuse not to meditate, even though I know the benefits, both intellectually and spiritually.

It is said the brain is like a monkey swinging from branch to branch, which it is. I prefer the metaphor of a dog on a leash, pulling its' owner all over the place on a walk. The dog is walking the owner, not the owner walking the dog. Just as my brain is controlling my true self, not my true self controlling my brain.

I practice Vipassana, which is "insight" meditation. I have practiced with Buddhist monks, nuns and lay persons at temples and other centers, as well as on retreats. From day one I was taught to focus on the breath and just observe the thoughts, feelings, emotions and sensations that arise. 6 years later I am doing the same thing. It is a practice and in my practice, there is no goal, I just observe.

If my meditation had a goal, I'd fuck it up by trying too hard to achieve it, like most americans. When I want something, especially if its' good for me, then I want it now, I want more of it and I ruin it. I don't really have an "off" switch when I'm engaged in something I like, especially with a goal. So, all I do is meditate and observe what happens, nothing else. I may move on in my practice at some time in my life and maybe I will not.

I have a love-hate relationship with meditation. I, my true self, loves it because of the concentration, focus and other positive qualities I develop and hone. My brain hates it because the brain does not want to be trained or controlled, just like that untrained dog on a leash fighting its' owner. There are days now when I meditate and it is more challenging or difficult than the first time I ever meditated. There are days when the timer goes off and I feel like I just sat down and it took little effort.

I now meditate for 20 minutes a day. That seems to be enough time where I can get past the initial sensory overload, body aches and racing thoughts about what's going on that day or "important". I used to sit for 40-60 minutes and have done up to 2 hours at one time. I think that is some of my resistance now as I am judging 20 minutes to not be as "good" as 40 or 60 or 120 minutes. Really, it doesn't matter, it's the brain lying to me.

I sit, mostly cross legged now (it does not need to be done in lotus position floating in mid air) and I simply count my breaths... "One, this is my in breath; One, this is my out breath; Two, this is my in breath; Two, this is my out breath..." and so on up to 10 and then reverse back down to 1.

When I lose count, and I always do at some point, I simply take a deep breath and start over at 1. I do not judge myself as bad or say I messed up. I simply smile, relax and just start anew. Even if I could do it perfectly, what does it matter, I don't win meditation by being perfect.

When I try too hard to concentrate on the counting I'll blow past 10 and get to 25 before I notice I didn't stop. When I am absent minded, normally chasing thought rabbits down holes, I'll forget to count entirely and engage in the fantasy my brain is presenting me. Either way, I just observe it, catch myself, recenter and start over at 1.

The main things I have learned from meditation are:
- I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS
- I AM NOT MY FEELINGS
- I AM NOT MY EMOTIONS
- I AM NOT MY BRAIN
- I AM NOT MY 5 SENSES
- I AM NOT MY BODY

I am the one watching those things, The Observer. I am who I am, that is it. No labels, no attachments to the body or brain and the thoughts, feelings and emotions it delivers to me. 

I'd love to hear your experiences with meditation and would love to help anyone getting started. I read and answer all emails ~ douglashilbert@yahoo.comFor all past "Letters to my Son" blogs visit ~ doughilbert.blogspot.com

8 Things I Do ~ Eat Breakfast High in Fat & Protein

I used to get up, drink a pot of black coffee, smoke or chew tobacco and take some psych meds to "wake up". This of course was followed by a night of crappy sleep and likely some alcohol intake. Breakfast did not exist for years, unless it was a 2am trip to some diner.

Part three of my morning routine is now "breakfast". After getting the best nights' sleep I can, then doing some easy moderate exercise like yoga and walking fasted, I've now prepared myself for some caloric intake. I say caloric intake as it's not always solid food.

I start every morning with "Bulletproof Coffee", which is now fairly well known and popular, with coffee shops on the left coast actually offering it for customers to purchase, probably for $5 when it costs pennies to make. It has been made famous and is trademarked by Dave Asprey, a pretty awesome guy I like to follow, who has the Bulletproof Executive site and brand.

I use the traditional recipe ~ blending black coffee, 2 tablespoons of organic expeller pressed Coconut Oil and 2 tablespoons of Grassfed Unsalted Butter. That gets me 440 calories from 52g of fat, 0g of carbs and 0g of protein.

If I'm going to train hard that day I will also make some eggs and bacon or sausage. Any combination which will get me to about the 30g of protein level. Some research I've read shows 30g is about the max the body will be able to store or use at a time and the rest has a higher likelihood of being coverted to carbs through gluconeogenesis.

Starting the day with high fat and some protein helps keep my blood sugar in balance, with no noticeable spikes or sugar cravings through the day. I'll bracket some carbs around or within my training as insulin production is shut down during exercise.

This is one of the more simple and easily accomplished changes I've made to set myself up for better days and better health.

I'd love to hear your experience w/ Bullettproof coffee, high fat diets and anything else. I read and answer all emails ~ douglashilbert@yahoo.com

For all past "Letters to my Son" blogs go to doughilbert.blogspot.com

8 Things I Do ~ Walk or Yoga in a Morning Fasting State

I have found fasting to be fairly helpful in fat loss, increased aerobic performance, improved recovery and general overall better health.

From dinner or a late night snack to waking, there is a 8-12 hour "fast" already. So, I typically have a cup of black coffee and then do a 20-30 minute round of easy yoga and walk the dog briskly, maybe light jogging a little even.

Then I will normally eat a 800-1000 calorie breakfast high in fats and protein with minimal carbs and zero simple sugars.

I'm not doing any 6am long endurance training, high intensity interval training or heavy weightlifting. If I was I would not do those in a fasted state and would take calories to consume while training. It would depend on the total overall length of training and how quickly I could eat after training. I'd say 2 hours or more and I would absolutely take in some calories. What I consume during exercise is less of a concern from a sugar standpoint as insulin production is normally "turned off" during exercise (It's a bit more complicated than that)

This is a skill to be developed and I'd say it's mostly a mental skill as I have access to food pretty much 24/7/365, unlike humans tens of thousands of years ago, or even humans in most parts of the world today. The body has enough stores of carbs (~2,000 calories) and fat (~50,000 calories) to have no problem fueling easy aerobic training in a fasted state.

Not dumping carbs into the body early in the morning also aids in not having mid-morning cravings or overeating at lunch. There is no blood sugar drops, no need for more coffee, no need for sugars at lunch and as a result no mid-afternoon crash or nap needed after lunch. A completely successful day begins with a good start in the morning.

Knowing all of that, there really is no reason to need to eat before an easy workout. Just like there is no reason to need to consume a gel or carb drink during a 5k run (or even a marathon) if properly fat-adapated, which is my goal in adding this fasting to my practice.

I read and answer all emails ~ douglashilbert@yahoo.com

For all "Letters to My Son" blogs ~ doughilbert.blogspot.com

8 Things I Do to Sleep

I think I got about 7 hours and 20 minutes of sleep last night. Really, I was in bed for 7 hours and 20 minutes, so my total sleep time would be less than that. Then count the three times I got up during the night b/c my son woke me up and the one time I had to use the bathroom. So, I probably got maybe 4-6 hours of sleep in reality. Not exactly the prime example to be writing about sleep :)

Of all the things I need to do for myself, my health, my wellness and my sanity - Sleep is by far the most important of all of them. Sleep is also the most challenging. I've made some important life changes and sleep today is 100% better than it was in the past. Now a bad night is the example above, where I at least got through one REM cycle. In the past I likely go no REM for years if not decades, and it drove me insane. 

Why did I have major difficulty sleeping? Poor sleep hygiene, not thinking it was important, racing thoughts / stress / anxiety, poor lifestyle choices and to top it off sleep apnea. 

Not sleeping for years or decades really was taking a toll on my body and mind. Every morning I would awake exhausted, needing multiple rounds of alarms to actually get up. I never had that morning where I jumped out of bed excited for the day, never. Most of the time I was hungover too.

When I would get up it was immediately to drink coffee or take some other type of stimulant to "wake up". No coffee or stimulant and I would normally go into an internal panic mode wondering how I would function for the day. Even if I just had to get up to make the coffee, that would likely add 2 rounds of snooze debating whether I was willing to get up to make it. If I was out of coffee I'd literally drive miles out of my way to get it. The whole morning centered on getting my fix to function.  

I would not eat breakfast and simply pound coffee until lunch. When lunch would come my blood sugar would be wrecked and I'd be starving, so I'd eat some shitty sugary processed food. Then I'd crash from that mid afternoon and go for the second pot of coffee or smoke a pack of cigarettes or take some stimulants to "wake up". 

Fast forward to the evening and I'm wired with my mind racing from the day. I know I won't sleep so what helps? I'll just drink alcohol to pass out because I know that works. It works to make me pass out; it does not work for sleep. I'm trapped in a cycle of stimulants and depressants, all because I've never sleep well. 

So what do I do now to improve my sleep?

1. I make my room Pitch Black with no lights at all... I've removed all electronics, no TV, no radio, nothing which emits any artificial light. I have dark shades on the windows too. If you need or have those things in your bedroom, cover up the light with some electrical tape. I don't wear a sleep mask and hear those work well also. 

2. No Screens before bed. All screens emit "blue light" wave frequencies, which are major disruptors of melatonin. So, no computer, cell phones or tablets hours before bed. If you need to use them there is screen dimming software (https://justgetflux.com/) or there are plastic screen covers which block the blue light frequencies. (www.lowbluelights.com) I may start switching out light bulbs next to see how that works. 

3. No alcohol... Goes without explanation there. Some people can do a small amount and have no negative effect. I just know it does not work for me. 

4. Keep the house at 62-64 degrees... It's easier for me to sleep in the cold. Not so cold it wakes me up. In the winter I'll throw on compression socks to avoid being "too cold". 

5. Improved Diet... I've made what some consider extreme diet changes and it has been crucial to my sleep hygiene. I could write a book on my diet changes, but some simple things to try are - Eat less sugar and processed foods. That alone will improve sleep. I've been able to reverse sleep apnea with diet alone, so it works. 

If I'm hungry before bed I will eat a high fat / high protein snack - normally Almond Butter as it has a small amount of sugar to help stabilize blood sugar through the night. 

6. Supplements - I use Passionflower Extract if I wake up during the night to help me go back to sleep. Some people use melatonin and report good results. I do not use melatonin because I've read mixed research on whether prolonged use down regulates (turns off) the body's natural ability to produce it. 

7. Take a cold shower - Yeah, it works for sleep too!

8. Meditation - I meditate every day, sometimes within the hour or two before bed. It's part of a daily routine for my mental health. Along with journaling and writing a gratitude list, meditation is a key for my emotional balance. When I do those things during the day I don't have the racing thoughts and anxiety when my head hits the pillow. 

Those are some really simple things I do to improve my sleep quality and they work for me. I still don't have any mornings where I jump out of bed whistling and skipping around, but I feel 1000x better. 

I'd love to hear your ideas and what challenges and success stories with sleep you have. I read and answer all emails - douglashilbert@yahoo.com 

P.S. added 01/22/2015 -

9. Turn off electricity in my bedroom - So I've been hearing about Electromagnetic Fields and the potential of health concerns from exposure to them and how they can negatively impact sleep through disruption of melatonin. I'm not 100% sure on the science as I'm just investigating it. 

Whether a real or trumped up concern, it seemed reasonable to turn off the breaker to the power in my bedroom as a general precaution. Especially as there is an outlet right by my head when I sleep. 

Other steps I am taking are turning off the Wi-Fi router at night and not sleeping with my phone within arms reach.

Choosing Myself First... 8 Things I Do and Do Not Do

There have been multiple periods in my life where I ate like shit, was 40 pounds overweight, drank too much, took too many drugs, smoked & dipped, did not sleep, did not exercise, did not meditate, did not do yoga, did not read, did not write, did not work hard and was broke.

In those periods of life I was really being a selfish asshole and isolationist. I was of no use to anyone and especially not myself. I was extremely unhappy and deep down all I really wanted was to be of use and service to others, but I kept falling back into the same pattern of anger, resentment, self-pity and self-destruction.

Everything would always start off well, with me energetically giving my all to other people, places and things and positive results would happen. Overtime though I'd lose energy and begin to fail, creating anger, resentment and the emergence of bad habits.

Everyday all the things I secretly wanted to do for myself would get passed by and put off for all those other people, place and things. I would string together weeks, months and years of ignoring myself and it always ended poorly. I thought I was doing the right thing by focusing on others, but really I was only becoming a victim and pissed off about it. I felt trapped in my existence and really I was, because I chose to be.

So what changed? I simply chose myself. First, I  had to learn it was ok for me to choose myself and to be my main priority. That choosing myself, my health and my well being were critically important for not only my happiness, they were necessary for me to be of service to others. I really wanted to be of service before, I was just going about it the wrong way.

The story is more involved then one day just waking up and saying "hey, I choose myself", basically I hit a bottom in my life. All of the negative habits and consequences built up to where I either had to change or give up and accept being a miserable asshole and die alone. I knew I did not want that demise.

I now have a list of things I choose to do everyday for myself. It is a list of habits and activities which I need to be my best. It is a list I make my #1 priority over everything else, including my children, because I know if I do not do these then I can regress and be of no use again. I have found my life is never static, I am either moving forward and making progress or I am going backwards.

My fear of doing these for myself was that it would anger people, how so? I have no idea, it was a completely irrational fear which was deep rooted in my subconscious. It may have been created for some protectionist reason as a child, it may have been me buying into the worlds' dream or the american dream or whatever I believed from the outside about happiness. It really doesn't matter why though.What matters is that today I have chosen myself and I do these things for myself.

Here is what I try to do everyday:
1. Get 8-10 hours of sleep per night
2. Do yoga and/or walk before breakfast in a fasting state
3. Eat breakfast high in good fats and 30g of protein
4. Meditate for 20 minutes
5. Write something and express myself in a creative manner
6. Listen to podcasts and read
7. Write a gratitude list
8. Eat healthy and supplement correctly for my diet needs

Here is what I try not to do everyday:
1. No alcohol, tobacco or drugs
2. No News in any form
3. No TV of any kind
4. No carbs for breakfast
5. No processed foods, especially processed sugary foods
6. No fast food or eating out
7. No gossip or negative people
8. Say "No" to someone or something

When I do these things I am happy. That is all I know.

I'd love to hear what you do and do not do to make sure you are sane and healthy. I read and respond to all emails - douglashilbert@yahoo.com