Wonder what can be next...

Wondering... Wonder (verb) 1. desire or be curious to know something

I have two choices when thinking about the future:

1. Wonder what can be next, what can be possible, what can happen, what I can be 

2. Be afraid of what might happen

I have yet to acheive my true potential in anything I have undetaken in life to date. I have had glimpes of greatness, excellence and flashes of my potential, yet never went from very good to great / excellent / elite / world class. 

At this point in life, I do not feel bad or negative about that, acceptance is step one on the path to progress and excellence. Learning "why" and deconstructing the past is helpful in determining the blocks, hurdles, obstructions, friction points and cognitive biases which have capped my personal performance. 

I have been good, really good, good for my age, good for my height, good for my background, good for being new at something... I have been really good at going from beginner to good, quickly. Mostly, that takes some minor focus and commitment, which is fairly easy when there is constant growth/rewards. 

I always wanted to be great at everything I have chosen to do, that was what I said I wanted at least. At some point in each undertaking, I quit at "good" or settled for "good" or chose I was not willing to do what was needed to be great. Looking back I did not know that most of the time. 

The only reason I have not been great or excellent is that I have gotten in my own way emotionally, mentally or intellectually. Nothing "happened to me" and I was not a victim to anything which would be a valid reason to not be great or excellent. 

On the surface there were a few major mindset issues I have since determined were hindrances:

1. I thought I was good/smart/knew something and was not focused on improving or learning more

2. I was not coachable and did not listen to others, lack of trust 

3. I was not honest with myself about anything, living in delusion

4. I was tied up emotionally, mentally addicted and attached to my thoughts ~ past & future

5. FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)

This blog is going to be my experience, strength and hope in the process of change and the progress towards excellence in everything I do... What I'm learning, what I'm doing, how it is going, what my challenges are... Why? I write to express myself the best and hopefully will leave something of quality for the world and my children to learn from.