Choosing Myself First... 8 Things I Do and Do Not Do

There have been multiple periods in my life where I ate like shit, was 40 pounds overweight, drank too much, took too many drugs, smoked & dipped, did not sleep, did not exercise, did not meditate, did not do yoga, did not read, did not write, did not work hard and was broke.

In those periods of life I was really being a selfish asshole and isolationist. I was of no use to anyone and especially not myself. I was extremely unhappy and deep down all I really wanted was to be of use and service to others, but I kept falling back into the same pattern of anger, resentment, self-pity and self-destruction.

Everything would always start off well, with me energetically giving my all to other people, places and things and positive results would happen. Overtime though I'd lose energy and begin to fail, creating anger, resentment and the emergence of bad habits.

Everyday all the things I secretly wanted to do for myself would get passed by and put off for all those other people, place and things. I would string together weeks, months and years of ignoring myself and it always ended poorly. I thought I was doing the right thing by focusing on others, but really I was only becoming a victim and pissed off about it. I felt trapped in my existence and really I was, because I chose to be.

So what changed? I simply chose myself. First, I  had to learn it was ok for me to choose myself and to be my main priority. That choosing myself, my health and my well being were critically important for not only my happiness, they were necessary for me to be of service to others. I really wanted to be of service before, I was just going about it the wrong way.

The story is more involved then one day just waking up and saying "hey, I choose myself", basically I hit a bottom in my life. All of the negative habits and consequences built up to where I either had to change or give up and accept being a miserable asshole and die alone. I knew I did not want that demise.

I now have a list of things I choose to do everyday for myself. It is a list of habits and activities which I need to be my best. It is a list I make my #1 priority over everything else, including my children, because I know if I do not do these then I can regress and be of no use again. I have found my life is never static, I am either moving forward and making progress or I am going backwards.

My fear of doing these for myself was that it would anger people, how so? I have no idea, it was a completely irrational fear which was deep rooted in my subconscious. It may have been created for some protectionist reason as a child, it may have been me buying into the worlds' dream or the american dream or whatever I believed from the outside about happiness. It really doesn't matter why though.What matters is that today I have chosen myself and I do these things for myself.

Here is what I try to do everyday:
1. Get 8-10 hours of sleep per night
2. Do yoga and/or walk before breakfast in a fasting state
3. Eat breakfast high in good fats and 30g of protein
4. Meditate for 20 minutes
5. Write something and express myself in a creative manner
6. Listen to podcasts and read
7. Write a gratitude list
8. Eat healthy and supplement correctly for my diet needs

Here is what I try not to do everyday:
1. No alcohol, tobacco or drugs
2. No News in any form
3. No TV of any kind
4. No carbs for breakfast
5. No processed foods, especially processed sugary foods
6. No fast food or eating out
7. No gossip or negative people
8. Say "No" to someone or something

When I do these things I am happy. That is all I know.

I'd love to hear what you do and do not do to make sure you are sane and healthy. I read and respond to all emails - douglashilbert@yahoo.com