How I Manage email and social media

I'm addicted to email, Facebook, Twitter and whatever else tech... This stuff is accessible 24/7, even better than a mainline of chocolate hooked up straight to my brain, it is irresistible. When I see an icon for a new email I must check it to see what it is. I must check to see what's "new" on Facebook and Twitter feeds. When I have 30 seconds standing in line at the store I go for the phone to get a fix. It's basically insanity.

I am reacting like a dog to external stimulation, the majority of which is noise and not relevant to my day or me, probably ever. If I get 100 emails a day, maybe 1 is actually time sensitive and maybe another 2 are actually important for that day. The other 90+ are spam, ads, people wanting me to do something, ask a question, occupy my time, waste my time or whatever, they are not important or not necessarily needing an immediate or even timely response.

Even though I know I am addicted, the knowledge on its' own is not enough to stop the behavior. I will sit there, see the icon, tell myself not to look at the phone and bam, even though I am actively mentally resisting the action I still do it. Then I m'f myself for looking and actually go ahead and gorge on email, Facebook, Twitter and maybe even Pinterest. Once I crack, I'm cracking all the way.

So, I have to enact rules and strategies to combat this problem, and it really is a problem on a few levels.

First, every time I switch tasks or become distracted it takes mental energy and physical time to refocus on what I was initially doing. Subsequently, once I lose focus, the probability of me not completing what I was working on goes up significantly. I see a Facebook post, click the link, start to browse links online and I'm 15 tabs deep on something and forgot what I was doing 10 minutes earlier. Happens all the time.

More importantly, I do not like feeling addicted and a slave to email and social media. I have effectively cut out radio and TV news already and had a positive affect. While I choose not to totally eliminate email and social media, I know I need to take control of them and manage them so they are positive in my life and not negative. I can no longer be a passive victim to them, so I need to change.

Here are some simple steps I have taken to manage technology in my life:
1. No email or social media before breakfast - Upon waking the first thing I was doing in bed was checking emails, none of which were ever important b/c I checked it the previous night at 10pm and no one was emailing me anything important overnight. Normally it was 30 ads and a few newsletters which I may or may not ever read. Then I'd lay there and check Facebook and Twitter next. 30-45 minutes later I'm pissed off for wasting my time b/c none of it mattered.

I've been doing this for 8 days now and I have not missed one important overnight email and as for Facebook and Twitter, I didn't miss anything b/c really none of that is important any way. I feel less stressed and I have more time to get done for myself what I need too. I'm making myself my #1 priority first thing in the day, which helps build positive self-esteem and is a good self-care routine.

2. I turned off Push / Fetch email function on my phone - My phone was initially set up to push email to me. A "1" would pop up on the mail icon of my phone to immediately alert me of a new email. Once I saw the "1" I was checking it without conscious thought most of the time. I was a mindless habit to check it and 90% of the time it was spam or an ad. I'd then get pissed I wasted my time checking my email to see an ad, but I wouldn't waste the time to unsubscribe, so I'd keep getting them. I could not, not check it b/c "what if the email is important?"... It never was or it never was something which could not have waited at least a few hours. If it's really critical someone would call or text me, like in a real emergency, they would not email me.

I have since turned of push and even fetch, which was an option for the phone to check my email for me every 15, 30, 45 or 60 minutes. I have chosen to check email at 8am, 10am, 12pm, 2pm and 4pm and only those times. Physically having to click the icon to check it gives me that moment to tell myself it's not time and the ability to resist the desire to check it works. I just could not resist checking it when I was alerted there was something new there. I see friends who have 4002 emails they haven't opened and I'm jealous of their ability not to check and read and delete them all, that's not me for sure!

3. Turned off cellular data for social media - I was checking Facebook and Twitter over and over and over to see what was "new" and really, there is never anything new that I could not live without and I'd say there was likely never anything important which actually affected my life. For family, I could just go to their profiles when I wanted to see new photos of their kids and whatever else is important. Every time I was checking feeds I was basically living other peoples' lives and not my own. Not that social media is not good for downtime or entertainment, as social media is fairly entertaining, I knew I was wasting my time and nothing positive was coming from it.

I'm not ready to eliminate social media and I do use it for work, which makes managing it a bit trickier. So, for now I turned off cellular data for social media so I can only access and check them when I am on Wi-Fi. I also leave Wi-Fi off because when I have to actively turn on Wi-Fi, log into a network and then check a feed I just don't do it. It seems like a lot of work mentally and the payoff of what may be on the feed isn't worth the effort.

4. Turn off alerts in Notification Center - Just like alerts for new emails I was also getting alerts of all kinds for social media. So I'd get a "1" when someone tagged me, friended me, messaged me or whatever else happens on social media. Again, nothing of significant importance and definitely nothing time sensitive. Still, once I saw that notification "1" I was mindlessly checking it to see what it was.

This one is pretty easy and obvious, although I have to go back to the notification center every few days b/c some of the apps have this magic ability to turn themselves back on somehow, it's freaking annoying.


I am the master of my phone and have set it up so I am in control of it and rarely ever reacting to it and now, never a victim to it and thus have not wanted to throw it into traffic once this week. I am using it to my advantage, as with any tool, and most importantly when I need it. I needed to structure the system, so I am not distracted and not surprised and not addicted to the constant stimulation.

I am more important to myself in my life than any of the inputs trying to get into my brain from the outside world. This makes me happier, calmer and actually in a better place to respond to those few important emails I get a day. I also have more time to think and be creative. I find I have added time and am less rushed. Overall, my quality of life has improved by implementing these small changes to manage technology.

I'd love to hear your ideas on how you manage email and social media as well!

I read and respond to every email, just not within 20 seconds :)
douglashilbert@yahoo.com